An exploration of psychological entropy.
The chronicles of ones struggle with his own sanity as he descends ever closer to complete madness.
Have i passed the event horizon of my own psyche? Beyond which there is no return? Or is the horizon nothing more than mirage, as i desperately traverse the desolate wasteland within my own imagination.
Privately we all struggle to find our sense of purpose, I admire those who’s strong beliefs are the foundation of their being. I have long searched for meaning in all things, both physical and spiritual. I find myself quagmired in a seemingly unavoidable paradox. As i search for answers all i uncover are more questions. The more questions i answer the more my sense of purpose is diminished. This cyclic methodology is the basis of my free fall into chaos.
My intelligence has left me cursed. Cursed with an understanding of human behavior that fortifies a sense of alienation from my peers and ultimately society. My grandmother called it intuition, which she described as a “psychic” power held by our family. I choose to view it with a more scientific approach. No Im not able to read minds or tell the future. Seeing the subtle cues of a persons body language, the way they emphasize certain words or syllables, the way they position their arms and body, being able to decipher the bullshit in every interaction. I can decipher instantly when someone has no interest in my conversation and just as quickly peer behind the facade that we all employ as a way to seem “normal” to see a persons true intentions. I see the ignorance in conflict, the absurdity of assimilation and the vanity of modern society. This vision acts as the singularity of my proverbial universe, the great attractor that is forever drawing me towards the interior of my own black hole of despair.
Coming up: Enter The Great White Shark
author: Anonymous guest blogger